Welcome to Ask Coach Kev, a new InForney column featuring insights from Kevin “Coach Kev” Simpson. As President and a founding member of the Forney Youth Athletics Association (FYAA), Coach Kev has helped build one of the fastest-growing youth sports programs in the region. A former minor league football player, award-winning recruiter, and successful business owner, he now dedicates countless hours each week to helping young athletes in Forney grow—not just as players, but as future leaders.
Coach Kev- Before we jump into the questions, one quick note. You’ll notice this column is called “Ask Coach Kev.” That’s intentional.
At the youth level, especially ages 5 through 12, kids connect with people, not titles. They respond to someone they feel comfortable approaching, someone who feels relatable and on their level. On our fields, hundreds of kids call me Coach Kev, not Mr. Simpson. That connection matters.
Youth sports should be about relationships, mentorship, and growth, not formality. If kids feel comfortable asking questions, listening, and learning, then the adults around them have done their job.
So with that said, let’s dive into this week’s questions.
When Should Kids Start Taking Sports Seriously?
Coach Kev- This question comes up constantly in youth sports, especially today when it can sometimes feel like kids are expected to specialize, compete year-round, and train like professionals before they’ve even hit middle school.
My answer usually surprises parents.
Kids should always take effort seriously, but they should never lose the joy of playing the game.
There’s a big difference between taking sports seriously and putting pressure on kids too early.
At the youth level, ages 5 to 12, sports should primarily be about three things: learning skills, building friendships, and developing character. That doesn’t mean structure or discipline shouldn’t exist. In fact, some of the most important habits in life can start developing through sports at a very young age.
Even a 6-year-old can learn lessons like showing up on time, listening to coaches, supporting teammates, and finishing what they start. Those are life skills disguised as sports lessons.
Where parents sometimes get into trouble is when they start focusing too early on outcomes: championships, rankings, elite teams, or scholarships that are still a decade away. When the pressure becomes greater than the enjoyment, kids often burn out before they even reach the age where competition truly matters.
The real goal at young ages should be developing a love for competition and effort, not fear of failure.
Kids who grow up enjoying sports will naturally begin to take improvement more seriously as they get older. When they reach their teenage years, discipline and competitiveness begin to take a more central role because they’re choosing to pursue excellence—not because adults are forcing it on them.
If we get the early years right, kids will develop both passion and work ethic, which is a much more powerful combination than pressure.
What Makes a Great Youth Coach?
Coach Kev- One of the biggest misconceptions in youth sports is that the best coach is the one who wins the most games.
In reality, the most impactful youth coaches often have very little to do with the final score.
A great youth coach understands that they’re not just developing athletes; they’re helping shape young people during some of the most formative years of their lives.
The best coaches I’ve seen share a few important qualities.
First, they care deeply about the kids. Young athletes can sense immediately whether a coach genuinely wants the best for them or is simply chasing wins. Coaches who take the time to encourage, teach, and invest emotionally in players build trust that goes far beyond sports.
Second, great youth coaches teach effort and accountability. Not every kid will be the fastest or strongest player on the field, but every kid can learn how to work hard, listen, and support their teammates. When those values are consistently reinforced, the entire team culture improves.
Third, impactful coaches create belief in their players. Many kids don’t yet know what they’re capable of. A coach who encourages effort, celebrates improvement, and helps kids push past challenges can unlock confidence that stays with them for years.
Parents sometimes evaluate youth programs based on trophies or records, but those things don’t always tell the full story. The real question parents should ask is whether a coach is helping kids grow in areas like discipline, teamwork, and resilience.
Winning games is fun. Everyone enjoys success.
But the coaches who truly make a difference are the ones who make kids leave the field believing they are capable of more than they thought possible.
How Should Parents Handle Losing and Playing Time?
Coach Kev- Few things are harder for a young athlete than losing a game or realizing they aren’t the star player they imagined they might be.
Those moments can be tough, but they’re also incredibly valuable.
Sports provide one of the earliest opportunities for kids to experience disappointment in a structured and supportive environment. When handled properly, those moments can teach resilience, humility, and perseverance.
The most important thing parents can do after a tough game or limited playing time is shift the focus away from the outcome.
Instead of asking questions like “Why didn’t you win?” or “Why didn’t the coach play you more?”, parents can help kids reflect in a healthier way.
Ask questions like:
Did you give your best effort today?
Did you support your teammates?
What can you improve next time?
Those conversations help kids understand that sports are about growth, not just results.
It’s also important for parents to avoid criticizing coaches or teammates in front of their children. When kids hear adults blaming others for losses, they miss the opportunity to take responsibility for their own development.
Sometimes playing time is earned through effort in practice. Sometimes it’s about learning new skills. Sometimes it’s simply part of being on a team where roles differ.
Learning to navigate those realities helps kids develop maturity and perspective.
The truth is, almost every successful athlete has experienced moments of frustration, setbacks, or limited opportunity early in their journey. What separated them from others wasn’t talent; it was the ability to keep working and improving.
If parents help their children focus on effort, improvement, and teamwork, those difficult moments can become powerful learning experiences.
“Until next week — keep working, keep learning, and keep showing up for your teammates.”
– Coach Kev
